Well, I saw Dr. Litton yesterday. Warning...this post will not have any pictures or cutesy sayings...just a short post with the facts as that is all I can handle for today.
The cancer is starting to take over everything. I can't breathe and my platelets were only 13 after getting chemo last 4 weeks ago. He felt like it was because of disease that my platelets are so low because there is this fine line between more chemo and bleeding out or no chemo and my other sypmptoms getting worse from disease. There is no good decision. We decided to give a dose of chemo to see if my breathing can improve a little bit and watch platelets and give them if I start bleeding. So, now it's just a waiting game. Watch, wait, transfuse...rinse and repeat.
We talked about getting things in final order sooner than later. I may have 3 months if this chemo will work in my lungs. The pain is becoming worse in all my bones but I can assure you, not being able to breathe is worse. I can't even efficiently cry the way I want to without stopping to catch my breath. Who knew something so benign and ordinary would become something so important in my life.
Now to have tthe family meeting probably Monday. This will be the most hard thing in this rollercoaster of emotions and ups and downs. Pray that I iwll know what to say to my kids to make this a little easier on them...if that is even possible.
Be Brave, my heart. Have Courage, my soul
Tiffany
We don't know each other personally- I don't believe our paths crossed at Primary's. My son was dx in the fall of 2013 and we didn't start in clinic until December, but your link was shared by another cancer mom and I've spent the evening reading your posts... I just want you to know that you're in my prayers. I am so so sorry. I hate cancer so much and sometimes it feels like I can't possibly hate it any more than I do- but tonight, tonight I do. I hate it for what it's doing to you and your family. As a mom, my heart is with you. I'll be praying extra hard on Monday when you sit down with your kids. I just want you to know that you're in our thoughts and prayers. -KP
ReplyDelete